sorry i've been MIA for the last almost month. halloweekend was a sloppy drunken mess weekend. i loved every second of it. the first night i (attempted) to dress up as one of Manson's girls.. went to Garment District with Leigh the day before h-ween and scrounged through the dollar-a-pound first, stepping all over disgusting raggy clothing and shit, it was all bottom of the barrel stuff that no one wanted, must've been picked up and thrown down by like a thousand people just that day. just so you have an idea...

upstairs they have 60's, 70's, 80's (and maybe 90's too) sections separated by dresses, vests, jackets, pants, skirts, accesories, EVERYTHING. it's so crazy. finally i found a dress thats long and purple and flowery from the 80s section, even though that's not the manson decade, whatevaaa. tried it on, didn't fit very well so i folded it up and it looked alright. got these cool yellowy glasses, messed up my hair, and voila! 

so that was friday. saturday i tried on jill's marilyn monroe dress and it was pretty cute so i went with that and a black belt and boots. i wasn't really anyone in particular, but whatever i don't really like halloween that much and just wanted an excuse to get drunker than any usual weekend night (or actually weekdays too haha). i have a better appreciation of halloween now, espec because we're the only country that celebrates it (right? i might be wrong.) oh well! it was a great weekend. 

today jill and i went to THE sketchiest area in boston to vote. i voted McCain. HATE ME, MASSACHUSETTS. voting is pretty exciting though. tonight we're getting drunk to celebrate this ridiculous election being over. yay! and tell me, whooooo the fuck is going to vote to keep dog racing!? that's terrible. obviously i voted to have marijuana penalties lowered. even though i don't smoke, most of my friends do and i wouldn't want them getting in trouble with the law for something as little as smoking weed. soooo yeah. that was today. now i might do some homework and get on with the day. or take a nap. idk yet. 

<3

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Originally uploaded by jennifer_louise

i miss summer so much.

oh man, im bummin on life right now. i miss my old life going to mad treos and tdh and atal shows all the time. i feel so detached and out of the loop. the funny thing is i thought coming to boston i would start going to way more shows and being even more involved with music, but the polar opposite happened, i haven't been to a show since tdh in august. sucks not having a car here. 

There's so many people that I have to see this weekend, it's stressing me out and I'll probably end up seeing no one. Here is a lyric from my new favorite song.

I don't mean to close the door but

for the record

my heart is sore

Also things that have to get done: 

main priority- research Mccain's stand on coal-to-liquids for my debate! UGHUGHGUHG

go to Target and other shopping places for boots and warm clothing stuff

get documentation of me so that I can apply to Urban when i get back to school

make $

work out all 4 days i am here (so far i missed 1 day, whoops)

media and french homework

MEH

i will leave you another lyric:

i'ma shake you off though

get up on that horse

and ride into the sunset

look back with no remorse

and now, off to the gym and then to work 3-7 and then maybe i will see someone i haven't seen yet, depends how tired i am. then at 10 to cuddle with ali and feed each other pizza. then late probably drink at larry's if he is home and feels like getting drunk, i have to see. 

Ingela took this when we went to Hawaii. I love it. 

wow, i don't remember ANYTHING after a certain point last night. we went to minho's in allston. MOB got us 2 30's which we carried in plain view around the streets. got drunk wicked fast, played ruit, were having an awesome dance party when there was this official sounding knock on the door, and i guess we were too loud for a monday night because a neighbor must've called to complain. they didnt ask for identification and they didn't take away alcohol, so we waited outside for them to leave, then went back in and grabbed our stuff, split the 2nd 30 and put them in all our bags. i don't know what came after that, i don't remember going to the T or anything. i guess it was a fun ride judging by my pictures/video. we played sudoku and sang. came back here, i went to see doug and simon and them, but i don't remember anything else. i must've been walking so crooked. then when i came back minho was standing in the middle of the living room in the dark. then i guess i slept. woke up still fully drunk and went to enviro. so fuuun. horrible class. gonna try n go to the gym after i finish this beer haha. good monday. 

ahhh last night was so fun. cunard fire escape, another rager. dance party. so fucking good. then steven and ashley arrived, and all my friends went home. so i went back to cunard with them, and it had died down a lot and the beer ball was dry so this kid steve told me there was something around the corner and i could follow him and we'll get free wine. (we pregamed with 2 boxes of wine earlier) so we follow, forget about the wine, it's like this secluded little doorway through an alleyway. that had died down too but there was still ruit setup so steven and ashley played, got the last pitcher of beer and then someone let us take shots of rubi and smirnoff that we found in the kitchen. during ruit, someone from the street kicked a window and the screen broke. so steve went up to fix it and when he came back he said something crazy's going on in the street. i think someone's party was busted cuz there was a line of 6 police cars with their lights on, and kids lined up against the street. so badddd. so we peace from that place. run into someone on the street and were both like yo whats goin on here?! and the guys are like, we dont know but u can come hide out in our place til they're gone. and that's basically all i remember. me, ang, steven, ash. walk into this random person's apartment, there's like this couple laying together on the couch, a couple kids in diff corners of the room and we just barge into this place at like 4 am, it was fuckin ridic. so i think we found a back exit out of that way, made it back to the street, and passed out. woke up pretty early, like 7 and then again around 1045. today i'm doing the elevator experiment with rachael, going to the gym, hangin with ash & steve, finishing up work, gettin a good night's sleep. 

fuck my life! tonight therefore i am is playing a full band show in norwood with fucking NOAH AND THE WHALE. and i dont know how i would get to norwood but im mad that i didnt fit it into my sched. could this week seriously get any worse? has anything good happened this week? quick little recap: boy drama with leigh, jill, and i. a baby 2 streets down from me was thrown out of a 4th floor window and died, there was a riot on that street, today something over there was on fire, travis barker was in a plane crash, last night we got busted 4 times at 3 diff places, hell of a week. last night was one of the most fun nights i've had since last september though. started with 3 boxes of wine at ang and amy. instead of that being a pregame sesh, we were all full blown retarded. angie and dan and i peed like right outside the police station between these 2 big steel box things, got to doug's finished our wine and got beer, minho gave me a little jack, i found someone's Bacardi O Orange on the counter and took like 5 shots of it hahah. Was busted by 2 security guards twice because we were way too loud on the deck. went to erica's but i don't really remember much past when we first got to doug's. i don't even know, i just drank everything in sight. tonight's going to be just as ridiculous. i can't wait. brighten's playing at afterhours so i think we're gonna pregame then stop by there around ten to see them play. the distraction has a show at berklee so i wanna see jay after if he can hang. k time to shower and get ready. 

We let people party in our room and i wake up with a lollipop stuck between my printer and desk, ash ALL over the back of my desk and windowsill, and broken wine glass pieces ground into the floor. SWEET. went to the gym today and worked out so hard, almost doubled my workout. feels so good. got fuckin retarded last night off a disgusting amount of wine, had a dance party, drunk texted againnnnn thats really something i need to stop doing i regret it every time. got the cocorosie cd, finally gave in. i actually really love it. leigh, chase, and i went to cheesecake today. i got chopped salad and that's my favorite food in the world. mmmmm. every day that i wake up and open the curtains and see boston outside my window i smile. i love this place and i wouldn't have wanted to live anywhere else. i want to stay here forever. classes are better, way more in control. and i feel in control of my body, which is always the most important thing for me. i'm sleeping early tonight to wake up for my 1030 tomorrow. niggght!

as much as i would like to update you all on my life right now, it's hard because i don't really feel like i've been living it. i feel like i'm watching myself outside my body. i don't remember much at all about the last few nights. it's been fun and i never want it to end, but tonight is a school night so..until friday. this week's really going to be hard though. last night we had boxed wine that angie didn't get carded for.. so we had that at our place while we played truth or dare in our room. it was a ridiculous game. then we headed to marissa's at douglass park. the RA walked in not 5 minutes after we got there.. we all had to leave. so we finished our drinks in the staircase and then chilled in the bottom of a parking garage. then we took the T up to the hill to meet MAriam at Master's place.. there's 8 of them living there it's sooo sickkk. there's like 3 floors and so many cute rooms. met some really cool people, chilled out, it was a good night. doug came a little later, then we realized it was 3 o clock so we should leave.. then we got home and made food and realized it was 4 o clock and that it wouldnt be a good idea to watch 28 weeks later like we planned because we'd all fall asleep.. and now here i am awake at 1 pm on a sunday. gonna do laundry and homework and eat and go to the gym and watch pi tonight. i would talk about all my other nights but they're so blurrryyy in my head that;s why i need twitter.

last night was so fucking insane. i don't even remember anything. started off with mixed drinks and kings. the RD stopped by i dont even know why but they made us take down out twinkle lights :( got a little rowdy and took some shots, steven got here with the rondack crew, matt colman lost his phone, i took soco shots with steven and bryan, jager shots with matt, more mixed drinks, vodka shots by myself. then we went to tina's upstairs apartment and saw more people. had some beer and socialized on the fire escape for a bit, then we bounced back to our place and played more kings, i ended up naked, i fell and have this horrible rug burn on my knee and elbow. angie smoked a cigarette like on the way out of dav because she didn't want to wait to get outside, i wanted to kick all the recycling out into the hallway but leigh didn't let me so she said i could kick one out and then have to stop. hahahaha. i don't know how but we met up with the guys that took matts phone and they gave it back to us and said i looked like a playboy bunny, haha. they definitely did drugs. so much hilarious shit happened last night and i need to sit down with everyone and try to remember. oh yeah bryan had to give alex a lapdance in kings, and jill was basically naked. i saw mates of state yesterday! they played on campus with the cool kids, who i didn't stay for. we stole salt from the dining hall yesterday and it spilled in leigh's bag and had a huge pile of salt at the bottom of her bag. i got a trainspotting poster and leigh got a twilight one (haha). my books came to 300, not toooo too bad. alright my computer is about to die. so yea i woke up at ten still drunk and just put on my gym clothes and left without even thinking, worked out and i looked like a zombie i wasn't even sweating or even feelin the weight of the machines at all. for sure takin it easy today. im going to hang out with the rondack crewww..maybe aquarium?!

alright so! i'm all moved in now. the new place is really roomy and comfortable. today we got twinkle lights for the living room, it looks soso good. we shopped with amy and her mom at BBB today, and then target, and this superstore of Goodwill. spent more than i should've, more than i actually have. last night was ridiculous. for dinner alec came over along with leigh's friend's boyfriend who just moved here and doesn't know anyone. alec made us all spaghetti with sauce with spinach and we had french bread and parmesan cheese and wine. leigh's id worked at a little place closeby that sells beer and wine. so exciting! after dinner we drank more wine then went to miele's, played kings with the boys and miele's roslindale friends. moved onto doug's new place on st stephen's. had some beer and hung out on the fire escape and talked with dan and amy and alec and a few others. went back to miele's room for a little, then went to tina and erica and amanda's new place on cunard. it was the same building we went to last year for tim/julian's party.. the place leigh and sam oglesby got puked on through the fire escape! hahaha :/ there were a lot of people there.. but being that i came with 13 other people, i knew a lot of them. drank more and talked out on the fire escape, then peaced with amy and alec. slept so well, i love my new bed/room. except that the sun rises on our window side so we woke up at like 11 and couldn't fall back asleep. everyone else moves in tomorrow. im so stoked! oh and we went to the DH tonight for dinner, seriously, got to be the best cafeteria food in the whole country. had tilapia and a piece of onion and mushroom pizza that i picked off the mushrooms. and brought back apples and pretzels and chips and tomatoes and cucumbers and yummy other thangs. walked back in pouring rain with a tight white shirt on, that was a mess i feel like i took a shower. alright going to lay down. ps missed the gym the last 2 days fuck my liiife at least we're walking a lot. 

is the world really going to end on december 12, 2012? 

i watched "The Number 23" at ali's after we did our ten o clock workout in which we bumped into familiar faces such as seco and adam and jen howard and people she knew from her new pizza place job. the movie's subject matter wasn't that great, i thought, but jim carrey nailed the character. got 400 dollars worth of apartment stuff at bed bath and beyond today. my favorite item being the soap dispenser in the shape of a french maid. so cute. found tall gray slinky boots at bakers, a black cardigan at h&m, Thank You For Smoking at FYE for 8 bucks!, a new pair of prescription glasses that should be ready tomorrow, and all new toiletries from CVS. when i was there, a parked car's engine was about to explode. the smoke billowing out of it was black and filled the entire parking lot. fire trucks and police were there, firemen were trying to spray the car down but the smoke didnt really stop for like ten minutes. everyone shopping came outside the stores and just stood and watched in awe, people were taking pictures and videos, it was nuts. and the owner of the car never even came out or knew. i would die if that happened to me ever, fire is my biggest fear in the whole world, especially my house or car catching on fire. AH. alright so, one day left. i intend to do a lot of laundry for my new sheets and comforter and towels, to get my hair cut by laura adamo, to eat sushi with matt, to organize my room and have my bags loaded into the car by midnight, to go to the gym, and to see my girlfriend, jackie, and larry. and maybe if i pack rapidly me and larry will have time to stop into Ink Injection to get a small quick tattoo since today's didnt work out. right now i'm going to pass out, and dread tomorrow.

i need to find cute boots (maybe 1 or 2 or 3) before i go back to school. today i tried to pack up my room, that was nearly impossible. i got a lot of it done though. sorted hats and scarves and dresses and jackets and makeup so far. ali sat on my bed on my computer all day all curled up, it was too cute. then we had chicken pot pie dinner, mm. im reading a memoir about this girl kerry and how she was promiscuous. it's really good so far and i just started it yesterday and am more than halfway through. it's due back tomorrow so i need to finish it tonight. when i got my oil changed today i got hit on by a 30 year old who worked there who wants to take me out as soon as i'm not single anymore (wooops, said i had someone haha). he gave me a ten dollar discount and said i was gorgeous and he couldn't believe i was only 19. it was nice, that hasn't happened to me in a while. anywaaaaay, tonight i saw sam for the first time in ages. she looks wonderful and we had so much to talk about. was supposed to go to the gym with ali right now but she's falling asleep, my muscles ache from working out too hard this morning anyway, so whatever i'll just go in the morning. last night was so much fun, we played donut and kings at larry's with a bunch of people, and i lost "never have i ever" every time for all this crazy sexual stuff that i've done and mostly no one else has. whatever, everyone was targeting me by like the 3rd round haha. then shane, larry, and i ended up watching porn in larry's room, but it wasn't that good and at like 4 i was tired and drove home as best i could. i need to change my canadian money to american money tomorrow! it's so annoying having cash for once and not being able to use it. also getting a new pair of glasses soon, i think i'll get something obnoxious like blue or orange or something weird. ali's mother is cutting my hair on thursday, i can't wait to have a fresh shape and ends. today ali was going to take the blond out of my hair, we bought dark brown dye yesterday, but i chickened out last minute and turns out i'm not ready to have all my hair one color just yet. so i'll bring the dye to school. before i leave i want to go to taco bell just once. i didn't know there's one in the triangle center in yorktown, that's nuts, i've wasted my life until i go there and order one of everything and eat it all and then want to die for the next week. yay. k book now, bye.

wow i'm so beat. so starting with montreal.. the city itself i didn't really like.. the little restaurants and shopping and bars were cute and people were really nice..but the city was so congested that it was impossible to get anywhere. we got lost for hours because the streets are soooo confusing and do not make sense at all.. we got a parking ticket in the time that we parked the car and walked 1 min to the pay station.. we paid at 1:38 and the guy ticketed us at 1:37..probably because he saw New York plates.. we tried talking to him and showed him the pay stub but he wouldn't hear it.. uggghhhh. other than montreal, St. Bruno (where we stayed) is similar to westchester.. we really liked it there. the week with the family was wonderful, i feel like i spent quality time with each person. the sister is really great and she speaks fluent english so that also helped us out.. we went shopping with the mother one day and when we had to say goodbye she actually cried and that made anne and i tear up and it was just sad to have to leave.. i feel like we didn;t have enough time. we met both charles and francois' friends..they were all awesome, we went to La Ronde, a theme park that reminded me of hersheypark a lot :):):) we went to Mont Royal, the top of a sleeping volcano that people go to to look out at Montreal.. we ate poutine (heart attack in a bowl), a french canadian food that's supposedly the best in french quebec. charles made us eggs/brown sugar/maple syrup breakfast that was the best breakfast food ever and i will try to recreate it tomorrow..i guess they eat it a lot over there.. their house is absolutely incredible, like no house i've ever seen before. and they have a beautiful yard with a pool and everything. the first night anne and i stayed in the living room upstairs, and all the other nights we stayed in the RV which was parked next to the house.. so we had our own little house. we ate dinner with the family every night and played guitar hero and went to the drive in on the last night, saw death race and the mummy without english subtitles, charles turned his truck around and brought chaise lounge cushions so we sat and drank and smoked and had this big speaker in the pickup with us. it was great. got cigarettes from the indian reserves. 200 cigarettes for 13 dollars. they make me sick after i smoke one though, and are 7 times worse for you. i was a little nervous bringing them through customs since theyre illegal (i think) but everything was cool. the customs guy letting us into quebec asked the most ridiculous questions.. who owns this car? how do you know each other? who are you staying with? for how long? how do you know them? how long have you known them? what's your occupation? take off your sunglasses! holy fuckkk we were so nervous. anne and i got our tattoos! vivre rire aimer on the back of our neck. i like it so much :) so on the way back from canada we pass bolton landing and i decide to call steven because maybe we can see him before we both go back to school.. so we turn around and get off his exit.. turns out its tony's 25th birthday the next day so we haveee to party that night. so steven buys us dinner and we went with joe also to brown's at the sagamore.. ate nachos.. then walked around the sagamore after to digest and take pretty pictures. went back to the rondack, started drinking with ashley and steven.. tony gets back from work around 11.. more people come.. im doing more shots and holding a beer in one hand and a vodka and lemonade in the other.. and then i woke up with anne the next day and it was time to go home. i wish we could've stayed another night, i love it there. so i get home and then i unpack/repack and we leave for the jersey shore. get there, go to dinner and go to sleep. wakeup and have a not so nice day which turns out beautifully and sunny probably with a high UV index because i got more color. layed out all day and played frisbee with kris, got wraps on the beach. lost my fucking brand new sunglasses to this huge wave that came out of nowhere and forced me underwater and i lost my glasses but somehow not my bobby pins. was soooo mad since they were brand new from montreal and i actually loved them they looked so cute. searched for an hour and went back 2x today and yesterday to check with guest services. no sunglasses came in either day though. still haven't got over that. did get some other really cute things in montreal though, a bag, 2 necklaces and a ring, and this beautiful dress from a dept store like nordstroms thats only in quebec. anyway, today was a beautiful day too.. got more burnt and then had pasta for dinner..feel shitty.. not excited for school or anything this week..maybe sushi tmrw if matt can.. gotta pick out new glasses frames, see ali, and go to the gym, and please let me have the motivation to clean my room..ah! i can't live in it anymore! alright..sleep

what a long eventful day. breakfast was good i had grilled provologne cheese on wheat with a side of fruit with diet coke hahah. mmm. then worked til 5, got 2 new flip flops at h&m, drove to poughkeepsie, saw a few people, everything was okay for the most part. came outside when it was time to leave, and was told 4 people were shot while we were watching the show just down the block. scary. the dear hunter's 2 new songs were wonderful, it sucked that so many people left before they went on, but what else is new.. its the loft and no one ever stays for the headliner :/ i talked to cassie a lot she's such a sweetheart. lydia was great as usual and i met mindy after. i didn't pay much attention to eye alaska or you and me and everyone we know (or whatever) because i was at the bar talking to rob for so long.. but that was great to see him and kyle and matt sak and chris and jolly and mur and adam and bob and dan and jess and meet her bf..etc etc.. got back to cortlandt around 1 and went right to kolby's since she was having people over. stayed til about 3, didn't drink though, came home, finished packing, and now i get to wake up in 40 min. can't wait for us to get to canada! be back thursday night, and if i can't come online then, i'm going to the jersey shore fri-sun or mon.. be back the 1st!

wow. working out at one am is wayyyy more fun than working out at normal hours with other people there. you can run around to all the machines and not have to worry about holding people up or waiting for them to finish one. so great! except i'm wide awake and should actually be tired considering anne and i shopped for seven hours today at the Garden State Plaza and the Palisades (the two biggest malls i have ever been to), then went to matt's new apartment in kisco and played rock band for a while. tomorrow i am dreading.. wake up around 845, breakfast in ossining at the wobble cafe with the girls (but i'll probably get like mozzarella sticks or a wrap since i hate breakfast..if i could order cold pizza that'd actuallly be perfect), shoot over to premier to work out (hope i have time) (hope i don't sleep through breakfast too actually..), go over to work 1-5, my last fucking shift at hot topic for a long time :/ thennnn take myself, ali, and possibly doug if he can get someone to cover his shift up to poughkeepsie for the dear hunter, lydia, and matt's band where the wild things are. i think adam and bob and dan are going. it'll be an ftf reunion :):):):) then after the show, come home, pack, sleep an hour or two, and anne is picking me up around 6 am to leave for montreal. im soooo excited/nervous/not ready to be in another country staying with a foreign family for a week, but it'll be amazing and i can't wait to see both charles and francois. got $450 worth of skirts/shirts/leggings/boots/scarves/berets/dresses today...so i think i'm set for the trip and for school for quite a while. found the most flattering dress at urban today and i bought it in olive and black as well because it was half price. also got a winter jacket at h&m,

 although no winter jacket could possibly keep me warm in boston during those freezing walks to class and DH and i hope the gym. it's long and black and so wonderful. but i can layer everything. i bought white leggings today how weird is that..i don't think i have ever seen anyone wear white leggings..i won't be able to wear them with much but i'll try and make do. okay not that anyone needed to know all of this i'm just tired and spaced out and won't stop typing. see u in a weeekkkk

I thought we were only friends, I didn't mean to lead you on or make you think that this might be going somewhere.. This always happens to me and I don't want to break anyone's heart but I can't help it because I love you but I'm not in love with you..

The weekend was fantastic. The 4 of us (Ali, Steven, Tony, and I) spent every second together. It was so easygoing and relaxing. I love that house and wish I had another month or so on this summer so I could be up there with the water and the trees and peace. 

Tomorrow I'm seeing The Dear Hunter, Lydia, and Matt's band Where the Wild Things Are. I'm really excited for the show, but nervous about someone who's going to be there. 

Today Anne and I are tanning at her pool again, and then going to the Garden State Plaza. I was there Tuesday and they opened an Urbs :):):) There's an H&M, Charlotte Russe, Express, Forever 21.. I need so much stuff for Montreal/school. At urban on Tues I got great stuff for school, and it sort of made me excited to go back to school for a little while. But then I was back to being depressed about it and wishing I could stay here for another semester or something. I miss Leigh and Jill and the 42 crew too much though. 

myxertones.com is my favorite website. i made three new ringtones for free :-) let's see what have i been doing.. worked a lot this week..well not a LOT but for me it's a lot because i'm not used to working every day. met some cool new people who are working there now. part of me just wants to stay home forever and work around here, but i know i have to return to school and early classes and having a schedule. (ugh). tonight i'm going to diana's house and drinking with her and anicia and their friends, and tmrw i work 11-3 then grabbing ali and going upstate til monday. steven and tony are going to stay over tmrw and sunday night, so it'll be a good time for sure. last night i saw hannah for the last time this summer because shes leaving for school tmrw morning. it sucked to say goodbye and we didn't see each other as much as i would've liked this summer. thanksgiving's so far away. i know i should get up and go to the gym right now because i won't work out again until monday, but i'm tired and lazy and don't care that much anymore. i hope i continue to go to the gym at school, i love the feeling. but knowing me i won't want to walk across campus in workout clothes so i'll just never go. i don't have much time left before school because this wknd is upstate, next week is packed with things i have to do to get ready for school, jill's birthday dinner, work, the dear hunter show, doctor appointments. saturday morning i leave for montreal, get home the 29th, get right in the car and go down to ocean grove for the weekend, get back monday and have 3 days to pack for school. i have so many people i still want to see before i leave and i hope i can do that. guess i should pack now. be home monday

aaaaaaaaaaah virginia was perfect! we hit the beach every day (big deal for us because we usually just stick around the pool). we met some GREAT people. charles and francois in particular, and we were with them for 6 days straight minus dinners and when we finally went to sleep. we played frisbee and volleyball and took long walks. anne and i rode bikes 3.5 miles into town one day because i unexpectedly got my period 2 weeks early (love it) and needed emergency tampons. we laid under the stars just the 4 of us every night, took walks along the beach and went crab hunting, got stung by jellyfish, jumped waves, ate ice cream, it was such a great vacation. since we spent so much time with the boys and got to know each other so well it was really hard for us all when it was time to leave, so anne and i are roadtripping to montreal to see them. it'll be interesting considering they speak a different language and use the metric system and canadian dollars, but we want to do it. so, we leave august 23 and return the 28th or 29th. i miss charles so much since we've left, it's unbearable. today was pretty good though, anne and i went to applebee's and got our usual boneless buffalo wings (hot) and oriental chicken rollup (grilled) and everything was delicious. then we went to best buy to look at movies and cameras and TV's, and ran into dan and joey. then i went back home and joey (different joey) picked me up for a boge ride (so sweet for him to come all the way from ossining) and we rode around and talked for a half an hour. then i had steak with my family and then hannah came over and we talked for 3 hours while i sipped on sauvignon blanc all night, my favorite. i have a huge list of people i need to see before i return to boston. i'm not ready to go back, i feel like summer's just getting started. i'm so worried about being able to find a job in september. i really don't want to work in retail again, 1. because i'm physically not allowed to do that since i'm seasonal at hot topic and can't have another job at a competing store. 2. i'm sick of working for 7.75/hr. NOT worth it, even if it is at h&m or urban. and if i am a waitress, the entire city is college kids, so those tips would be SO shitty. tomorrow i am going to mass because it's jill's birthday and i baked her a cake and have candles that say Jillian.. i can't wait to spend time with her, it's been over a month. so i need to be back for work on wednesday, then i have thursday free, which i'm hoping to see hannah before she leaves for school, but i'm also hoping to see matt colman since i haven't seen in seriously FOREVER and i miss him so much. friday and saturday i'm working, then straight from work i;m grabbing ali and we're going upstate for a night or two to spend with steven, south african sweetheart, tony, and my family and all the cousins. that should be a lottttt of fun :):) next week i'm going to get ready for school and work, and then we leave the 23rd, then the 29th i leave for ocean grove NJ for two nights, and then i get back and leave for school the 5th. i feel so good right now. i'm wearing the softest bathrobe ever just lounging in my bed. i could talk for another hour but i think i'll sleep. 

hi! life is fun. yesterday i went to christine's sex toy party, that was neat. then i went to larry's and was hammered after like 30 minutes of power hour because i haven't drank much in the last couple months. wednesday i went to see batman with rocky, it was great. and now i am leaving for VA beach. see you in a week! 

Palm Tree Silhouette

P1000864
Originally uploaded by jennifer_louise

I made a flickr. Lurking may begin.... now.

four days until beautiful white beaches, rays of sunshine, a best friend, and simplicity. oh baby. 

listen to '5 years time' sampler @ http://www.myspace.com/noahandthewhale, you won't be disappointed. 

you know how on facebook when you update your status, you're sort of doing it so that 1. people can know where you are and what you're doing at the moment, but also 2. for yourself to look back on and remember things. isn't it annoying how statuses disappear after a while? so.. ali showed me this cool website called twitter where you post updates..it's like a one-line journal. but you can update it as much as you want, 15, 25, 500 times a day if you want. every little thing you do can be recorded. and you can update from your phone as well. and it's so easy. and you can "follow" someone, and see their updates on your homepage. so.. my account is http://twitter.com/JenKnight

check out the way The Maine uses twitter (see top of page under pictures of each of them): http://www.myspace.com/themaine

it's pretty cool i think i'm definitely going to keep using it. make accounts!!!!

today at the diner for brunch, i went with tori, katie, and pasquale. and i wanted a wrap but since i wanted fries i wanted a somewhat healthy wrap, aka not chicken caesar that's dripping dressing. so i asked for a whole wheat wrap with no dressing with whatever vegetables they had. clearly all the waitress understood from that was i wanted 'wrap.' nothing else. 20 minutes later a plate was placed in front of me. it had a white wrap, dressing dripping out of the sides, and lettuce inside. only lettuce. hahahha. so she brought it back and added in some tomatoes and onions and then charged me for a chicken caesar ten dollar wrap. poor waitress lady struggling with english. 

tonight i'm going to lisa's house with marissa, we dont have any plans other than to 'hang out,' which i'm glad about. i just want to relax and talk and laugh like we did in high school. should be fun! 

I watched the fireworks at the fair tonight with Victoria, Kolby, and Diana. It was the last night of the fair but it was pretty lame anyway. Saw a few faces I haven't seen in a couple years, so that was fulfilling. Ali went over my bleach last night for me and it's so much better than before. 

Songs making me really happy at the moment:

The Most Serene Republic "Present of Future End"

Eye Alaska "Stop Me Now I'm Not Ready"

of Montreal "Heimdalsgate Like A Promethean Curse"

Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin "I Am Warm + Powerful"

EDIT: add this one to the list.. Noah And The Whale "Give A Little Love"

I'm really looking forward to The Dear Hunter show(s). I feel like once TREOS broke up I haven't been to any shows and I'm losing part of myself and starting to change. Lydia are always good everytime I see them, and Eye Alaska should be great as well. 

If you haven't seen it yet, I suggest you check out the new website www.thedearhunter.com. There's a video on there definitely worth watching, very funny. And the design is incredible. It's interactive and you can click around and discover little perks. So cool. 

I leave for Virginia Beach this Saturday!

ohhh boy, this is going to sound so dumb, i'm starting to get all emo with myself lately. everything's lost it's appeal, nothing is interesting. i hate this. i think it's maybe because i've just gotten adjusted to being back at home, and now i'm going to be ripped away from everyone in a month. and i keep thinking about it, it's too hard to just let go and have fun wherever i am. that used to be a simple task. now, no. and usually whenever i feel myself starting to get depressed i get emotional, but not this time. i'm not emotional at all, and i'm even on my period at the moment. what's going on with me? the only thing steady in my life now is a few good friends and going to the gym every day, which i really love. but whatever, so anyway.. i've gone to the fair last night which was alright.. it's not like i saw anyone i haven't seen in a while, because the people i went to meet up with (kelly, katie, tori, pasquale, anne, alicia) were the only ones i saw. im going again tonight and bringing ali along, and there are fireworks. i planned out the rest of my summer today. i normally don't like planning things in advance, but i feel so restless since i've gotten home from vacation, that all i want to do is go on vacation and vacation and vacation until it's time to go back to the real world, a.k.a school. so here's what i got (i have no idea how i'm going to ask for all of this off from work): august 2nd-9th, to virginia beach with anne. i go every year with her and her mother and sister and her friend. that's going to be a week of beach and pool and hot tub at night and meeting new people. it's going to be great i can't wait. august 11th is jill's birthday, so i haven't asked her yet but i'm hoping to go up with her and stay with her on that night. the next day (i haven't asked leigh yet either) but i want to go (maybe take jill, too) to stay with leigh in cape cod for a couple nights, hang out with her and hopefully go to the beach there too :) august 16th-18th i'm going to the summer house and bringing ali with me, and all my cousins will be there too so that should be a lot of fun. august 19th-22nd is HOPEFULLY stone harbor with marissa. stone harbor is a beautiful quaint little town on the jersey shore that not many people know about. my family used to go every summer for many years when i was growing up, and i haven't been in 4 or 5 years. must be back for the dear hunter/lydia/where the wild things are (!!) show at the loft on the 22nd. the next day is another TDH show at the school of rock in jersey. the next day is upstate again until the 27th, maybe someone will want to come with. the 28th i have to be back for my brother's show at the loft. and then finally i'll have about a week to prep for school and get all my things ready and get all new clothes. annnd lastly, next week tues-thurs i may be having katie, tori, and pasquale upstate, and jill will be up there too. if they can't come it's alright since i'll have jill and probably katy, who's got a house down the river. so that's my summer. i'm glad that i won't be home very much, and if i am home it'll just be to see friends or to work. i wanted to go to ft lauderdale to stay with jake and go to the beach everyday and party every night with him, because that sounds perfect right now, but i don't think that's going to work out. i wish it did because even though i'm unbelievably broke, the round trip airfare is only $234, and its not like i need hotel money. moving on, i can't decide what i think of katy perry's album. the girl is sooooo cute, the music's pretty catchy, but there's something about it that's stopping me from loving it. iiidkkk. sorry this was kind of a pointless entry, but that's what's goin on in ma heaaad righ now. nothing productive, really. byyyyye

westchester is lame as shiiiit. i just got back from doug's show. they did really good i think people dug it. the only thing i hate about driving is finding parking. i drove around for 25 minutes then parked in the ghetto then while walking to the show 5 men approached me in a group and started to surround me and were like "hey ma'am.. lookin good.." i thought i was about to get gang raped and ALMOST broke into a run. oh peekskill. now it's only 11 and there's nowhere to go. i cant even work out because the gym closes at 7 on saturdays. i wish virginia beach were tomorrow. 

HI. i wish i had more time to elaborate about my vacation, but my eyelashes are fluttering and soon i will be sound asleep with a computer sprawled across my lap. so, i'll shorten everything. day 1 was saturday (the 12th?) in which we boarded our ship 'explorer of the seas' in cape liberty/bayonne, NJ. that area didn't smell very nice. departed underneath the verrazano bridge at around 6 pm, the view was beautiful and i got some photos of underneath and the side of the bridge when we passed under it. i don't really remember what i specifically did on any of the nights, but i know that it mostly consisted of a lot of walking, a lot of going up and down the stairs, a lot of awkward conversation with fellow smokers on the 4th deck (i preferred my private balcony for that reason), a lot of food and i mean a lot of fucking food, shopping, sleeping late, room service, pool/laying out, karaoke, the gym, casino, random little shows and watching people dance at a club because it's funny and usually provides a good time, and other little odds and ends. they make it really impossible for you to drink on a cruise if you're not 21. we were supposed to have two full days in bermuda, but that quickly backfired when hurricane bertha threatened our seas (gaaahddamit). so we were told the cruise MAY possibly re-route to nova scotia, in which case we would have to pack a completely different wardrobe, which i refused to do because i firmly believed that i would not be let down like that and this isn't really happening. so, our captain decided that we would closely follow hurricane bertha's track, and stay 90-150 miles away from it at all times. even though it was going to be a direct hit on bermuda at the time we were supposd to be getting in. so, the swells were 5 ft and already people were getting nervous, i personally said my good-byes before falling asleep that night (half joking at the time, but wondering if i might actually die), the ship was very rocky and people got sick, someone must've eaten pink stuff all day and then thrown it up in our hallway.. that looked gross. the swells were going to go up to 15-20 ft that night, but invincible little me quickly assumed that the big bad 70 mph winds wouldn't affect our 200 ft tall ship that weighs like 200,000 tons carrying 4000+ people. i feel safe in numbers. anyway, when i woke up the atlantic had merged with the sargasso sea. aside from the fact that the water was calm and light blue and really beautiful, i was not comforted in the fact that this sea is also known as the "graveyard of ships." this is due to the large amount of floating seaweed and seaweed lurking underwater, where ship engines get tangled and are never freed and disappear to wherever else all the 50 ships and 20 aircrafts have gone to. doesn't even  matter if there's no wind or it's totally calm, there can be freak waves and other freak like occurrences that don't make sense to us humans, buuuut what can ya do. i still feel safe in numbers. and we've got more than 4000. thankfully we make it to bermuda. when we pulled into the dockyard the island looked nice, but the gray buildings on it did not. they would have looked fine in london or maybe scotland or paris or any other city in europe, but they were really out of place sitting on top of a shore. 

i forgot they drove on the other side of the road, as did most of the american pedestrian tourists who looked each way 14 times before considering stepping a foot onto that road. took a ferry to hamilton, the capital, and shopped, didn't find anything, what a surprise! then had  lunch atop a building, watching all the cars zoom by on narrow busy roads, making illegal lefts (or maybe then they were rights? i don't know, defnitely illegal though), and not stopping at stop signs. i was happy to be sitting on a higher level than all the crazy traffic and people crossing the streets and bustle of the area. had a legal drink, that was delicious but not worth the calories. after we got onto a bus to horseshoe bay. it was a really beautiful place but the 'red sand' was light pink at best. the black sandy beaches in hawaii beat this shit by 1000 percent. plus the beach was supposed to be empty because of the hurricane on the previous day, but that just made everyone want to swim more because they missed a day. so what the fuck, no one cares about some dumb rip currents, right? water is my favorite element and i like to be a little fish and swim so much, but i couldn't since my tattoo was still healing and can't have any sun or water. what a dumb time for me to decide to plaster a little flower onto my hip. after i sucked down an energy drink that i found in a local grocery store, we retreated to the boat. stopped in a little store on the way back where i bought 2 little knit hats, one green, one purple. i can't wait to put them on in winter! i don't know what else i did on this cruise. i think that's good enough. 

know what's so funny? to fly from NY to bermuda takes 1 hr 50 m. to cruise there took us 2 1/2 days. 

i'm wearing men's boxers to bed and they're SO so comfortable. 

today's been insanely long. woke up at 630 for kristen's soccer game. the girls play at this huge complex at waipio, about 5 min from pearl harbor, and the team they played today was hollywood.. which we beat 2-0 :):) from the game we went back to our hotel, the ilikai, i ate my sushi from this place across the street, aloha sushi.. the best sushi i've ever had.. packed our stuff and dropped it downstairs, checked out, went to the international market. i got a sick ipod skin and 2 more pairs of sunglasses. walked around, sucked down an energy drink of course, and then headed to the airport. we were all SOOOOOOO bummed to leave. i want to go on this cruise but not badly enough to cut the hawaii time in half. my friends get to stay til the 15th. so, had an 8 1/2 hour flight to atlanta, sitting next to this older man who would not say a word to me. it was a red-eye flight but i didn't sleep. from atlanta we got a flight back to laguardia, and here i am 3 hours later. actually like, 5 hours later because i slept as soon as i got home. so my body clock is 1030 am, but i have to force it to be 430 pm. tough. in one of the little smoking lounges at atlanta, this guy came up next to me and was telling me like his entire life story. he came from san diego, missed his connecting flight because no one woke him up when they arrived, and has to be the best man to his friend's wedding in pennsylvania. shittttty! i love flying but too much can really make you feel like shit. anyway, so hawaii was great. i learned so much about the culture and got to see some really incredible places. one day we flew at 4 am to Big Island, and i saw black sandy beaches because of how the volcano close to the beach had erupted years ago and the lava ruined everything- the sand, people's houses, people's lives.. it was the most beautiful place i've ever been. saw a lot of craters.. and we saw Kilauea while it was erupting. but we were too far to see lava, so we just saw smoke billowing out. went to a real luau with 1100 other people, drank mai tai and watched hula and a guy from samoa play with fire. went surfing on our first day there.. got up on the first try, but i was a little afraid so i couldn't go for very long. got a tattoo from hart & huntington! tori came with me and the guy who did it was great, we all had fun and i went back the next day to see him haha. it's a yellow and orange flower so i'll never forget the trip.. on my hip.. its hurting still and sore. i slept on it the night i got it and it left an imprint on the sheets.. not good. waikiki has rocky beaches! the water's beautiful but the sand's rough, but i only had to go to the beach one day, because i got such bad sunburn on my back and all down the back of my legs that i couldn't go in the sun for like, 3 days after. it still hurts. i didn;t go to my shoot because of the sun poisoning becuase i couldnt be outside. im bummed and the guy sounded wicked cool, but i didnt want to risk it. also i would have to be really discreet leaving, and he wanted to go to the north shore which is like, a 40 min drive, and ive never met him so i dont know if id just get in his car and go that easily. alright thats enough im going to the gym and packing.. leave for bermuda tomorrow at 11 am.. 

ali and i just had a really wonderful, relaxing weekend up at the summer house. friday on the way there we stopped for the shoot at bard college, which was such a sick place. i had to get up in the middle of a waterfall and try not to lose my balance, haha. there was a pool that's not used anymore so it had no water, and graffiti covered it. it was beautiful. saturday we went to this bridge by the house with cliffs under it and lots of graffiti as well, watched a few kids jump off the cliffs, saw one kid climb out with blood all over himself, yikes, and of course ali took some pictures of the graffiti. had a lot of fun on the jetski, some sketchy guys followed us around in a boat and then came to our dock and asked if we wanted to ride on their kneeboard (!!!), really weird. last night we went to steven's motel that he's been living at for his externship, "The Rondack," it was great, we met some really great people too. dropped by at a lake george party that was umm.. different. was outside all day today, the sun was so strong so i'm a bit burnt. ali learned how to kayak, one of my favorite things to do ever. i'm exhausted, going to pass out tonight, chill out tomorrow, and shoot with steve morton on tuesday! hawaii is on friday! 

today ali and i went to fahnestock for our shoot with stephen. it was fun but pretty hot outside making it hard to focus. and we did a lot of hiking to get to areas that were cool/different. we found a cave filled with bugs and roots, a rock for me to lay on for the flower series, a huge log of a fallen tree for ali to do her flower series on, a door with an overpass thing above it to sit/lay on/hang from/etc, a bridge, a waterfall with rocks in the middle of it to sit on, and some other cool things. now i just got home from the gym and i am so exhausted! time to pass out. tomorrow is my first free day in weeks. how exciting :):) i think i will pack for the weekend- ali and i are going up to my summerhouse. 

today's shoot went so well!! i really feel like the pictures will be good. we went to croton point park, all the way to this secluded little beach with rocks sticking out of the water and fallen trees and stuff. so tired. tomorrow is the shoot at fahnestock park with ali.. hopefully we won't have to do much hiking to get to the area. i love the little miss sunshine soundtrack. bye!

hellooo blog people,

i had a great weekend with my jilly girl up in medfield, mass. i drove through a horrible storm on friday to get there and surprised myself that i actually made it. and i got back a few hours today and hit the gym ASAP. i got to see Leigh, Bryan, Sam, Simone, Kate, Minho, and meet some new people. and get plastered which has been a while. tomorrow i am shooting with a guy from around here, and wednesday i am going to a shoot for a flower series (i get to model with poppies YAY) at fahnestock park (that's with ali). i got an offer to fly to california (all expenses paid) to model for a website that's gory and awesome. i might do it on a break sometime in either december or february. but once i go i have to go back once a month which may be hard. i met someone and think ive gotten into something i might regret in the future, we'll see where this goes. as they say "life is a roller coaster" and to be honest i'm not sure right now if i'm going up or down or maybe even backwards haha. i'm having fun though!!! i miss boston a littttle bit. friday me and ali are going upstate for the weekend. but it's mostly going to be work because we have a shoot in annandale on the way up, and one in albany on the way back. so that only leaves saturday to relax. it's okay though this work is fuuuun!

today was wonderful! i tagged along to ali's meeting with Steve Morton, because she wanted me to be there, not realizing that he assumed I was doing the body paint shoot, too. This guy is a mastermind, working in the business for 30 years in all aspects of it. He is internationally known, created the Ecstasy style series (!!!!), has work in galleries, sells his firework photos for a TON of money that i will not mention the amount, and has shot for Penthouse and the like. This guy KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING. If the body paint photos are good enough we will be put into a gallery in SoHo! he has so many ideas and i am so excited. and he's in white plains. and the coolest dude evvverrr. 

so, thursday is our japanese cosplay/glam plastic shoot in astoria, queens. so today we went to hot topic, and then to giggles, and bought the appropriate attire (5 inch black plasticy looking heels, red fishnet thigh-highs, red hair extensions, a black tank with a silver belt cutting across my ribcage). seriously stoked on that shoot. 

this week's dragging. 

MM is taking over my liiiife. so is ali adamo ;) the shoot with jeff was relaxed and comfortable, ali and i both had a great time and im pleased with how the photos came out. thursday is our shoot with alvaro, with wigs, fishnets, someone to do our makeup, and saran wrap. it's going to be crazy. i went to the gym twice today because i'm feeling huge. tonight there are too many choices, i don't know where to go. 

i'm developing this recent trust problem, it might even be because of some of the really sketchy, creepy im's i get from people off MM asking me questions so personal my mouth is dropped to the floor. in a way it feels like these people are out to hurt me and i personally do not see the difference between them (whoever is behind that computer) and the people i surround myself with daily. it's a horrible thing to say or think, but i place people that i know in the position behind that computer, asking me personal questions and tricking me, putting me down, saying things they've previously thought but never had the balls to say to me. i've blocked the screen names but somehow they keep coming around with new ones. it's getting out of hand. was it a terrible mistake to join MM in the first place? hope not, hope some things good can come from it. 

anyway, i'm planning an environmental shoot saturday in waltham, ma since i'll be in jill's area for the weekend. sunday i've got to get out of work which starts at 2, there's no way i'll make it back in time. plus i might leave jill's monday instead of sunday. not sure yet, depends if she has off work. friday is luke's show in norwood. jill lives in the most convenient town possible. i cannot wait to see her and leigh. i feel like i am missing a part of myself. 

i could ramble for hours but i think i'm done for now. 

biking fifteen miles can kill yahhhh. sister's graduation tonight. 

capitol records called me today to cover a B 52's show for them this saturday in bethel but i'm busy :/ would've been cool though. tonight we (me, jackie, luke, bryan, katie) went to dinner for jackie's birthday and we ended up reminiscing about st augustines for 2 and a half hours. it was so fun. i was laughing til tears. we did so much ridiculous shit. kinda miss it. tomorrow is the photo shoot with ali~im nervous but i think it'll be a good experience. still no job. life is more fun when you're poor anyway. oh well, hot topic will do for now and in the fall i'll try to find one in boston. or not, we'll see. 

did you know you can read h&m's magazine online? i just found this. but it takes a while to load if you try to magnify the pages.

http://www.hm.com/us/inspiration/hmmagazine__eyemag.nhtml#/eyemag/

I want them all!

i know it's bad karma to say you've gotten a job before you've actually gotten it... but i may work at an animal health center in briarcliff. i'm so dying to do it. i love animals so much. interview either tmrw or the next day. yay!

Ah a fresh new week to start. This one's probably going to fly. All I've got: Wednesday I am visiting Kennedy with Lisa & Riss. Then at night going to Fulgum's bar for Jackie's birthday. Thursday Ali and I are modeling in Mahopac all day. Other than that I'm just going to relax before work starts. 

The AC at the gym broke today~ I thought I was gonna pass out. And then my grandparents came for dinner because they leave to Norway for a cruise tomorrow. A lot of people's power went out because of the storm. I wish ours did. I like sitting in the dark reading with a candle? Weeird.

Today I woke up with Jackie on my floor, in the same clothes as last night because we had too much wine. I hit the gym because what else was I gonna do.. Still without a job..well kind of.. I'll explain. I wanted to sleep the whole day in my wonderful air conditioned room but resisted, and by the time I was back from the gym (which I saw Johnny Regan at againn) it was already like 3. I borrowed 6 foreign films from the library which are due back this Monday and I've only watched 2 of them so far. So today I watched Avenue Montaigne which I loved! Last night I saw The Squid and The Whale, borrowed from Ali.. also really a great movie. Nick & Olivia Paganelli's birthday party was tonight, so I went with Kelly because the Paganelli's are like family and even though Jill left for Iowa today I still wanted to go. After, I went to Larry's 'graduation party' even though it was the exact same as one of his regular parties, plus a keg. It was fun but Jackie and I didn't stay very long. I saw people I haven't seen in months.. Seco, Ava, etc. And now I am here. I am going to work at Hot Topic again this summer.. Brianne told me tonight that Bill is going to be working again too so at least I should still know most of the staff since so many people have left. That begins June 15- so I have free days until then. Tomorrow is Sunday~~time to relax.

Hm, so.. Welcome to my life?

Not that I post very often in my LiveJournal, but more of my entries there are set so just I can read them, like a diary.. so here I'm hoping to post every once in a while just because it's pretty impossible to keep in touch with everybody I'd like to keep in touch with. And I think it's easier because you don't need an account to post comments (I think?) Idk.. not familiar with it yet.